the power to be happy

私、春嫌いなんだ　I don't like spring
なんで？　Why?
聞かない方がいいと思うよ　I don't think you want to know
なんで？　Why?
私がどんなに根暗かわかっちゃうから　Because it shows how much of a gloomy person I am
分かった。春になるとみんなうきうきしてるからでしょ　I think I know the answer.  You don't like spring because everyone's excited?  Everyone but you
あたり　Bingo

I think I inherited this spring-disliking from my mom.  She says people who like spring must be super positive and strong.  Apparently, there's even a song that says so.  She sang it to me while we were taking a quick walk this morning.  The more beautifully the cherry blossoms bloom, the more her heart sinks because it makes her feel somewhat left behind.

Anyway, we (dad, mom and I) were talking about writing a living will while we were having breakfast.  I said that it wouldn't be totally useless but that it wouldn't be enough for me to decide not to give them a life-prolonging treatment, because a living will is what they write based on their imagination.  They imagine what they would feel like if they could no longer move/speak/eat/etc. and decide whether they want to live longer or not.  While they're healthy, they might think it's not worth living in certain situations, but once they actually face those situations, their will might change.

I forget where I read it - it was maybe something written by Adam Smith - but it said that every human had the power to be happy in any condition.  People get depressed and suffer in despair when they lose certain abilities, but once they go through the initial shock, they adapt to their situation or their new selves and find peace.  They can still feel happiness.  Some people can only move their eyelids, but they can still communicate by blinking - one blink means yes, two means no etc.  And they tell us they're happy.

Dad suggested we all train as many muscles as we can so we'll have more chance of communicating in desperate situations.  "You know how some people can move their ears too?  I wonder if I can train myself to do that."  He said to Mom that she would still have her nostrils if she couldn't move anywhere else in her body.  "I know you can move them - they flare when you're mad."

Apparently, when the time comes, he's going to make a rule for her to follow so she can tell us whether she wants to live or not.  I really hope it'll work - that both my parents would be able to tell me what they want when the time comes.