3.11

It's been exactly two years since the Tohoku earthquake.  I feel bad that I haven't done anything for the victims over the past two years.  When the earthquake ocurred, I was busy trying to figure out where my own future was heading.  After a year, I was busy studying to get into school.  And now, I'm still busy doing my own stuff.

When I see people suffering, it reminds me of why I decided to become a doctor.  I want to be able to help them (probably because it feeds my ego but I'll think about that later).  It's sometimes frustration that I'm too busy preparing to help people that I can't help them now.

I wonder which is better - helping 10 people now, or helping 1000 peopple in the future.  It's sort of like comparing the value of today's 100 yen and tomorrow's 10000 yen.  It's not an all-or-nothing question; I could probably help 5 now and 1000 more later.  But at the end of the day, I find myself opening a textbook and telling myself I can help them later when I'm more qualified.  The lack of motivation makes me tired of myself.

So today, I will do the least I can do: pray.