waste of money

Last night, I talked with a friend and at one point, we were talking about how we often say we don't want to die alone.  Literally speaking though, the friend said he didn't want anyone to watch him die.  He wanted to be alone when the time came.  He added how much he thought a funeral would be a waste of money.  "People put too much emphasis on death, and respecting the dead.  They're dead, they can't enjoy what we do for them anymore."  I said I would want to hold a funeral for my parents anyway.  "For myself, mainly.  Seeing them off to heaven would make a difference to my own life.  I want to be able to convince myself when I look back, that I did all I could for them."

Friend: Right.  But I think it's better to spend that money while they're alive, and do things for them while they can still enjoy.
Me: Okay, so funerals are for people who couldn't do anything for their parents when they were alive.  It's their last chance to do something for them.  They hold funerals to make themselves feel better.
Friend: Yeah, it's all about them.  They just *feel* like they did something for their parents when in fact they haven't.  It's a huge amount of money to pay to make yourself feel better.  Though I guess people should do it if it does make them feel better.  I'd personally have some trouble illusioning myself.

Me: Then what about weddings?
Friend: I have similar feelings about weddings too, though the ones I've been to have been great.
Me: I actually agree it's a waste of money but I still want to have a wedding for my grandma, because she's really looking forward to it.  And I really liked looking at my parent's wedding pictures when I was little.  It's kind of nice to have those kind of stuff.
Friend: Yeah, I understand.  It's nice.  But say I have three kids, I split the $30,000 I would've used for my wedding and make three bank accounts.  One of the kids ask me why there isn't any wedding pictures of mom and dad.  I'll show them a picture of the bank accounts instead and tell them they're for their education and whatnot.  I know it sounds pretty cynical, but... it's not.
Me: Maybe you're right.  And some pictures can be more interesting than wedding pictures.
Friend: Don't tell me you found your parent's naughty pictures.
Me: Well, I never thought they were that type.
Friend: Everyone's that type when they're young.