I'm kind of unhappy today. It's really ironic because I've been writing about happiness so diligently for the past couple of days.
My mom is a bit 潔癖 by which I mean she has a low level of tolerance and can be a bit judgemental -- just like the floor she cleans every day, everything has to be 'clean' to make her happy. I personally think she was able to stay that way because she has, in a way, always been protected. Life never forced her to change.
Now I don't care too much about my floor, but I do realize her moral intolerance inside of me sometimes. Especially when I regard something as disrespect. It's almost always better if you have a high level of tolerance because people are not going to change. If you feel unhappy, that's your problem; not theirs. High tolerance only becomes a problem when you accept everything and you end up finding yourself treated like a rug.
I think that's what my parents mean -- that I shouldn't forget to respect myself, and that I should remember I always deserve the best. Yes, the best. But what is the best in the first place?
If I were to live by my mother's standards (not that I intend to do so anyway), I think I'm going to end up pretty unhappy for the sake of my self-respect. High tolerence and low expectations are the keys to finding happiness.
But I guess it's all about balance. Life is complicated.
Rikai-kun says keppeki is fastidious or 'love of cleanliness.' In US English we'd probably say that your mother is 'Anal about cleaning' or 'OCD about cleaning' the later of which sounds more polite (although used incorrectly).
返信削除Fastidious isn't a word you hear a lot, I think meticulous is used more often. I hope that clears that up.
About expectations, I think we have them and they're different in different situations. For example, you expect N to be a jerk a few days before your period starts.
Maybe the one thing that your mother has been able to have for herself is this meticulous nature. It's been something that's guided her from childhood until adulthood and it works best for her. I'm not sure.
Reading your entries always makes me think... I have to put a lot of thought into things and end up deleting what I've said and starting again! This is a good thing, I don't get to have these kinds of conversations in real life.
Meticulous is the right word if it can mean serious, strict, and "clean" in every area. My mother is practically a big tree with stiff branches.
削除Usually, when a tree with stiff branches gets hit by the rain and blown by the wind, the branches are going to snap unless they learn to be flexible. The only scenario where a stiff branch can stay stiff without snapping is when it has a shelter.
But I might've gotten it all wrong. Maybe that's the amazing thing about my mom: her stiff branches were strong enough to bear the rain and wind even without a shelter. After all, I only know parts of her life.
I'm glad my entries make you think! That's one of the best compliments I could ever get :)