One of my readers told me yesterday that happiness was something that existed inside of you regardless of what happened externally, and I'm interested in that kind of stable happiness she described.
Which doesn't necessarily mean I was thinking about it when I went to bed last night, but this morning, I suddenly woke up at 6:41 AM with a single thought. (Except that it wasn't the thought that woke me up -- there's a bus station right in front of my apartment building and the bus arrives every morning announcing incredibly loudly where it's headed).
I think everything boils down to being able to accept that everything doesn't have to be perfect. External events influence how you feel (unless you're a Zen monk), but if you could accept imperfection (like a Zen monk), you would probably be influenced less.
My father often tells me 一喜一憂してもしょうがない (it's useless to 'ikki-ichiyu' = fluctuate between hope and despair -- which translates as stop sweating the small stuff or things that seem big). "Look at the big picture."
I used to imagine happiness as a perfect circle. But maybe it doesn't have to be. Happiness, in fact, might be a distorted shape. Or maybe happiness comes when you learn to see beyond the bumps and dents and see it as a perfect circle. Like when you see the moon.
Either way, it probably all depends on me.
After I wrote that essay length comment on happiness the other day, I realized that I shouldn't have said so much! I've become so preachy lately, like my mother. It's a most unbecoming personality trait.
返信削除I'm interested in a rather long lasting happiness too. I think the best I can do aside from something as serious as becoming a zen nun is to probably follow the path that I feel that is best for me. Being an only child of a family where most of the people were born around 1930-1960, I spent most of my childhood having people tell me what I should and should not do. And I stubbornly refused to listen. And I found out later when I got older that when I did listen, they weren't pleased (or happy, heh) and I felt miserable. So I guess I'm following my own happy path. :)
Anyway in the future, I'll avoid trying to be so preachy. You can feel unhappy if you want or happy if you want, or even pleased.
I like the preachy Sonna too (not that I really thought you sounded preachy), but I get what you mean by inheriting your mother's personality traits. My mom is a bit 潔癖(keppeki; I can't find the right word in English) by which I mean she has low tolerence towards many things, and I lately realized I'm turning out to be like her on some levels. (I might go into the details on a different post.)
削除I think it's good to be honest to yourself. Because whatever you choose, the results all come back to you, not them. I think I've always followed my own path too, but the thing is, it's hard to know whether I chose it as "my path" because people around me told me that was who I was and that was what I should want. Not that it matters... I guess you can't completely avoid being influenced by people around you!