It reminded me of how Japanese women were portrayed in the past. They were called Yamato Nadeshiko, and just like the Nadeshiko flower, they were modest and reserved, but at the same time, had a strong mentality and will power to support their husband with great respect and patience.
There's still an expression that people use when praising the support of one's wife: 内助の功 (naijo no ko = (accomplishment of) one's wife's help). People use it like this:
"I got promoted the other day."
"Congrats! That's naijo no ko."
We're now moving toward gender equality and the concept of Yamato Nadeshiko is kind of out-of-date, but I wonder if this has anything to do with the controlling demeanor of Japanese women.
I mean, being Yamato Nadeshiko can be a double-edged sword. If you're really happy sacrificing your life to support your husband, and if your husband is successful, it's great.
I think the definition of YN is being truly happy and proud being solely on the supporting side.
But when you're constantly judged by your husband's status, you most likely start wishing he did better. And that's where the controlling starts. You become pushy because you've been sacrificing so much for this man, and it's hard to be happy supporting an unsuccessful man.
Nowadays, I think the majority of Japanese women do not seek their "dreams" and "goals" and "futures" in their men; they have their own dream and goals to accomplish, but maybe the well-hidden controlling character of YN might be remaining in the Japanese culture.
Then again, I think real YN were never controlling (regardless of their husbands' situation). They were as patient as the beauty of the flower they were named after.
On a side note, I did pass pathology. Only 11 people did though. I don't think I did that well and I feel almost guilty for passing...
Glad to hear that you passed pathology!
返信削除It's good not to see your dreams and goals and futures in someone else. A lot of women (well in the US anyway) are taught that the goal is to get married and have children -- so that you are no longer 'selfish' and that not getting married and not having children is selfish and childish. I think this is extremely difficult -- trying to live up to society's standards of happiness instead of your own.
The US you describe is pretty different from what I gather from the media. I thought it was a country of freedom and autonomy. But maybe not? My current image of America is pretty conservative...
削除I suppose it is a land of freedom and autonomy. There are many conservative parts of the US and parts where it is less conservative.
返信削除The thing about being in the US is as long as you fall into the standards (being heterosexual, getting married, having kids, and in some areas belonging to a religion) you can be as unusual acting or looking as you want to. You can always say what's on your mind I think, as long as it isn't about one of the three forbidden topics: politics, religion, and sports.
In the UK you don't have to fall into one of those three categories, but you have to try your hardest to be like everyone else. You must try not to appear to be too rich or too educated or too anything. I think it's OK to be rich and smart in the US (even admirable) but much harder in the UK.
I think I sort of get the idea. It's interesting. I think in Japan, you have to fall into one of those three categories AND not be too anything!
削除Broccoliちゃん、試験おつかれさま！I'm happy for you've passed the pathology test:)
返信削除BTW, I was just thinking of writing about "feminism"/"Japanese women" on my blog. Your article inspired me a lot! Thanks:)