brokeback mountain

"...there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack's sleeves.  It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he'd thought, long ago in some damn laundry... ...stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one.  He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in... ...but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands."

It was amazing that so little words could convey so much.  Borrowed the book from a friend.  She recommended the film too, but it was a bit surprising to me that this story was one of her favorites.  She's a nice person with a great sense of humor but I sometimes have a hard time understanding her.

Like the other day, she said she'd never experienced regret.  I just kept the conversation going, but the remark stuck with me for days.  I mean, she's more than ten years older than me and she has never experienced regret.  If that was true, I feel kind of sorry for her in a way.  A life without regret is like a chocolate without cacao.  White chocolate is good too, but the cacao is what makes the other ingredients tastier.  If  she hadn't really meant what she'd said, I feel sorry for her either way.

"Brokeback Mountain is the sad chronology of a love affair between two men who can't afford to call it that.  They know what they're not - not queer, not gay - but have no idea what they are."

There is a obvious smell of regret especially towards the end.  I don't know how my friend could've liked this story without knowing regret.  But for some reason, I can sort of picture her doing what Alma did to confirm her doubts - the part where she tied a note on the fishing rod she found with the price tag still on after five years.  That part was pretty hearbreaking actually.  Hello Ennis, bring some fish home, love, Alma.  She knew what exactly he was fishing.

It really was a sad story.

"There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."