american beauty

I'd always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second is not a second at all.  It stretches on forever like an ocean of time.

For me, it was lying on my back at boyscout camp watching falling stars.
And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street.
Or my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper.
And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird.
And Janie.  And Janie.
And Carolyn.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me.  But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it.  And then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure.  But don't worry.  You will someday.



"This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. This is not just a couch."
"It's just a couch. This isn't life; this is just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."

Each character is odd in his/her own way, but they all seemed pretty realistic and human.  I often times think things get a bit too sentimental when people start talking about "beauty" but it wasn't bad at all.  Though I didn't know exactly what to think about the plastic bag to be honest...

Also, that Jane - I understand she needed more attention, but I thought she sort of deserved it when her mother hit her.  There were times back when children respected (or at least bothered to pretend they respected) their parents no matter how selfish they were.  I don't know which is better; Ricky and his father had their own problems.  But Jane's typical teenager attitude made me think.  Maybe because I was a bit like her.  Or perhaps because this conversation sounded so familiar:

"Mom, do we always have to listen to this elevator music?"
"No. No, we don't.  As soon as you've prepared a nutritious yet savory meal that I'm about to eat, you can listen to whatever you like."