queer as folk

After being recommended by a friend many years ago, I finally watched it.  Well, not the whole thing but I got the overall story and I enjoyed it.

For one thing, it was impressive to see how someone could be so loving without making any commitments.  It made me think what it actually meant to love someone.  Was it not about how much you're willing to compromise for him?  How much you're willing to change?

Justin says he and Brian are not getting married because that way, they can be together because they want to and not because they have to.  To them, changing for the other person is sacrifice and not love.  But Brian, in fact, changes slowly but distinctly every time he loses Justin, and it's pretty ironic that when Brian is finally ready to give what Justin wants, Justin has learned to accept Brian for who he is and finds it uncomfortable to realize that the new Brian is not the Brian he knows.

In one of the last scenes, if I remember correctly, Justin tries to reassure Brian that they will see each other often even when he moves away, but Brian stops him and says: "You don't know.  Neither do I"  I really liked the scene because the line was so 'Brian' and Justin seemed to be truly content with it.  Justin never had to forgive Brian because Brian never promised anything.  And it was always going to be that way -- "No excuses, no apologies, no regrets."

Later though, I had a different opinion about their "non-conventional relationship".  As Brian says, you never know about the future.  Everything changes, everyone changes, and it's scary to make commitments; it's sometimes frightening to trust.  But in the end, I think that's why you make promises -- to fight through, to try to stick to what you believe in, and to prove there are things that never change even when everything else -- including yourself -- changes.

If you haven't seen the series, I recommend it!  You can watch it on youtube.